There once was a farmer who loved farming all of his fruits and vegetables, and tending to livestock. He would go out every day to pick his fruits and vegetables, and to feed and water his animals. As years went by, he met his wife, they had children and his farm became bigger and bigger until he had to hire people to help him tend to his crops and livestock. As his farm grew, he noticed that more and more children from the area would come to eat an apple or two, and to pet his animals.
As months passed, spring came around again, when all his horses, sheep and cattle began having their babies. One sheep in particular was his wife’s favorite, because she had picked her out at the auction herself when it was still a lamb. Now, a few months later, it was old enough to have a lamb of its own. The Farmer’s Wife went out daily to check on her sweet sheep, until it was finally ready to give birth. To her surprise, the new lamb was as black as night in the sea of white wool. The Farmer’s Wife fell in love with the new lamb and cared for it day and night.
A few weeks later, the Farmer’s Family all went on a road trip to scout out some more livestock to bring back home. During their time away, one little girl in particular who lived in the area had also fallen in love with the little black lamb and took her to her home a mile away to care for her while the farmers were gone.
When the family returned, they found the black lamb missing, so all of the hired hands went out in search for the lost lamb. One of the hired hands had noticed that the girl who used to come over all the time had not been around for the past week, and went over to her house. There, he found her and the black lamb playing happily in the yard. Together, they went back to the Farmer and returned their beloved lamb.
Based off of the story: The Girl Monkey and the String of Pearls
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Author’s Note:
This story is based off of the short story, The Girl Monkey and the String of Pearls. In the original story, it is a King and the Queen who have the pearls go missing. In the story I wrote, I chose to use a farmer and his wife who still have a lot of land and wealth because that is more relatable living in Oklahoma. Also, just like it was normal for the monkies to be in the garden, it was normal for the children to be at the farm. I also found it interesting that the King did not seem angry in the original story, so in the story I wrote, the little girl did not have bad intentions and I focused on how it was returned, and the Farmers were happy.
Image
Author’s Note:
This story is based off of the short story, The Girl Monkey and the String of Pearls. In the original story, it is a King and the Queen who have the pearls go missing. In the story I wrote, I chose to use a farmer and his wife who still have a lot of land and wealth because that is more relatable living in Oklahoma. Also, just like it was normal for the monkies to be in the garden, it was normal for the children to be at the farm. I also found it interesting that the King did not seem angry in the original story, so in the story I wrote, the little girl did not have bad intentions and I focused on how it was returned, and the Farmers were happy.
I thought you did a solid job with your story! Maybe add a little more dialogue with your characters to enrich their personalities. I feel like I didn't really get a sense of what your characters were like and dialogue helps with that. Other than that, nice job!
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ReplyDeleteNice story! I liked the picture of the lamb. This story went back the roots with livestock and farming, which was nice. Who is the farmer's wife though? Maybe give some more info on the characters. Also, the part about the little girl becoming friends with the little black lamb was cute.
ReplyDeleteHey! I just wanted to say that I loved your story! Wow! I can see that you put a lot of hard work and creativity into your writing! You also grabbed my attention and had it till the very end! Therefore, keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your stories! Good luck with the rest of your semester! It is close to being over! Also, have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteHi Eric! I really liked your story! I feel like you should've given the farmer and his wife names. I think that adds more familiarity to the character. I also feel like you should add some dialogue into your story. I think also showing more characteristic traits about each character could give the reader more insight into that character's personality. Otherwise, this was a good story!
ReplyDeleteHi Eric! Your story for Week 11 was astounding as well! I bet you took the creativity way too far which I applaud for that. It was awesome that you transitioned the original story to something that makes sense to our generation; from monkies in the garden to children being at the farm. Best of luck to you and your semester, Eric!
ReplyDeleteHi Eric! I like the story! It’s truly creative and unique. I like the fact that the story is written in concise and easy-to-read style. The plot and characters are truly rich as well. Your story is full of imagery and visual details about animals and farmers. I especially like this part: “ To her surprise, the new lamb was as black as night in the sea of white wool. The Farmer’s Wife fell in love with the new lamb and cared for it day and night.” It sounds cool to have a black lamb. Thank you for a great story!
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